Monday, July 12, 2010

A Nod To Craig Ferguson's Closing Bit, Nine-Volt Batteries and A Little Bit O' Twang Creepin' In

"What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig?" makes me smile each and every time I hear it sung. And if it's accompanied by a farty-kitty graphic? Well, hell fire, I'm a pig in poop on the day after Thanksgivin'! (I'm not sure why that last line came out Southern, but it amuses me to say it aloud. Go ahead, try it. See?!? HI-larious!)

Today in my house, we learned that Amos will, indeed, taste anything offered to him.

Tonight's offering? A nine-volt battery. Both terminals. Simultaneously.

Now, before you go gettin' yer PETA panties in a proverbial vegan wad, you should know that this cat has been known to steal and consume radishes. Nope -- no need to clean your glasses; you got it right. A radish. You know the one -- little, red on the outside, cool white on the inside, slightly peppery second cousin twice-removed from horseradish*? Yup, that radish. And if he doesn't eat what he steals, he'll play cat-soccer with it as though the spirit of Pele himself compels him, frequently losing or, worse - hiding, the ill-gotten goods until it a) it rots, or b) we move. So if Kitty thinks he needs to take a sniff at whatever it is you're clearly withholding from him (an obvious violation of the Geneva Convention*) ... well, as a diploma-awarded human being, you recognize the power afforded by control and go ahead and give him a little sniff. Sometimes he licks it, sometimes he doesn't, but either way ... you get to keep it. These are the circumstances under which the battery was proffered.

And I tell you what ... (till youuu whuut) ... little dude pulled back a bit, startled as though someone had abruptly shown him a photo of a heinously ugly baby, shook his head, leveled a "what is WRONG with you?!?" look at Kitty Daddy (aka, my husband) and HELD HIS GROUND.

Seriously. He acted like nothing happened. He didn't run away. He didn't even swat at it. He gave Kitty Daddy the look and then stayed at his station, supervising the smoke-detector battery changing for the season.

Good boy, Amos. Way to take one for the radish-soccer team safety committee.

* You'll find that I sometimes will go from "theory" to "proven fact" without so much as a breath. I'll try to be sure to note these little treasures so that the Unfortunate Copper Penny Incident from high school isn't repeated. (Y'all remind me to post that story sometime, 'k?)

1 comment:

Erin said...

LOL go Amos kitty! It's like he's decided taste testing is his job—and he's going to be GOOD at it!