Monday, November 22, 2010

A Thanksgiving Miracle

I fell on an iced-over puddle in the garage.

Dropping in obligatory slow motion, I thought to myself, "Self," I thought, "You are going to pee upon impact. Chances are good you'll also break something. No physicist is required to conclude that your broken, unconscious body will be found adhered to the garage floor by a sad, frozen slurry of your own urine and tears."

I don't know what happened then. I don't know if the laws of physics ceased to apply, if an invisible hand cushioned the impact, or if my long-dormant cat-like reflexes sprang into action, but I realized I was on the floor with no perceivable my dignity.

Clearly, a miracle.

May your week be full of mind-blowing ninja moves, unseen forces coming to your rescue and, as always, dry pants.


Crystal said...

Literary genius, I tell you. And I do not have dry pants after reading this post. :)

Maria Bosak said...

I now know what to get you for Christmas. Those little spikes you strap to your shoes.

Melissa said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Melissa said...

Maria.....I will throw in a pair of green depends for her too! Just now wondering, do they make that?