Tuesday, March 15, 2011

On Being Rejected (By Software)

There is nothing like having a Microsoft® product throw its hands in the air and declare in a snit, "I have NO idea what your feeble-ass mind is even TRYING to spell."

It may have something to do with the fact that I "hear" this in my head in the voice of an puffy, overly-coiffed Southern woman with perfect, judge-y teeth, who then stomps away, hair bouncing, girdle compressing everything into the very sausage-look she's been trying to avoid since adolescence, but it makes me instantly crazy.*

Angry crazy.

Crazy angry.

So much so that when faced with "no suggestions" in the spelling dialogue box, I have been known to give my monitor a double flip with a TWIST.

You know, to get the point across.

No suggestion at all? Ruh-huh-huh-eallllly, Word? HAL would have known what I'm tryin' to say here. For Gate's sake ... GOOGLE even knows what I'm trying to freaking spell!


What can I say?

Microsoft Office and I have a very complicated relationship.

* For some reason, I can also tell you this fictional spelling judge lady smells like stale coffee and years-old Emeraude. It makes me wonder if I've blocked out an angry-teacher memory.


Becks said...

w..wait.. how does it tell you which grade level?

Also, too,... THAT is fantastic! / .

Mama Laura said...

Ah, shucks -- thanks!

Check out the "review" part of Word. Depending on your version, there's an option to have the little bugger check yer grammar. (Not to be confused with Kelsey.)