Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Today's Lesson: The Other Woman, The Third Party and Our Accidental Perpetrator Heroine

Newsflash, people!

It turns out the lyrics to Naughty By Nature's, "Hip Hop Hooray" are, indeed, naughty.

I know—this stuns you. I, too, was all, "whu? Whu? WHUT!?"

This lyric safety announcement is brought to you by someone who may or may not have spent the last oh, I dunno ... SEVENTEEN years singing this song whenever someone uttered even the tiniest of, "hooray"'s within her hearing radius.

Until today. 

When "she" did so to another woman of about the same age who had just used the magic word in a tiny cheer of self-affirmation.

And the other woman looked HORRIFIED. 


The accidental perpetrator instantly felt ashamed. But didn't know why. And had to ask. 

And the other woman said to her, "Lau--" "Lady, do you KNOW the rest of that song or were you one of those kids who actually listened to country and just heard the 'everybody say hey, ho' part and decided it was an anthem for the gangsta ages?"

Our accidental perpetrator heroine's brain danced. It zigged. It zagged. It finally admitted the truth. 

"Uhhh. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty much how it went down." 

(Clearly, our heroine used "went down" as her final stranglehold on the much desired "street cred" she'd heard so much about.)

It was then the third party cleared his throat.  

The third party, standing next to the other woman. 

The third party sporting a stiff, white collar. 

The third party with a BIBLE cradled in his left hand.

"Is that the "graffiti on your kitty" song?" 

Other woman rushed to answer, eyes cast to the floor.  

"It is, Father."

The third party again cleared his throat—clearly uncomfortable—and shuffled his feet as through relying on his toes to detect and point the way to the nearest exit. 

"Right then. I wouldn't sing that song to just anyone either."

So there we have it. 

Learn something from our heroine, 'k?


a) the priest knows the lyrics are dirty; and, 
b) the band's name alludes to their own bad-ativity, it's safe to assume these are not the songs you're going to want to sing to random strangers based on the use of the word, "hooray" in their vocabulary.

You're welcome.

Er ... I mean: Our heroine says, "You're welcome."

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